97whitevert
10-03-2003, 04:09 PM
Wonderful Time-Saving Household Tips...
Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and damaging UV rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
Cobwebs: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim, "What?--And spoil the mood?"
Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children.
Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl, and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates new guests and the shots are SO expensive."
Painting: Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident...I haven't had the heart to clean it..."
Impression of Hard Work: Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh: "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."
Barricades: Put a crime scene tape in front of doors where rooms are unbearably messy. .
"A clean house is the sign of a broken computer"!!!
Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and damaging UV rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.
Cobwebs: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim, "What?--And spoil the mood?"
Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children.
Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl, and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates new guests and the shots are SO expensive."
Painting: Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident...I haven't had the heart to clean it..."
Impression of Hard Work: Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh: "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."
Barricades: Put a crime scene tape in front of doors where rooms are unbearably messy. .
"A clean house is the sign of a broken computer"!!!