Housework helper

**97whitevert** · 10-03-2003, 04:09 PM

Wonderful Time-Saving Household Tips...

Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and damaging UV rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.

Cobwebs: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim, "What?--And spoil the mood?"

Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children.

Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl, and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates new guests and the shots are SO expensive."

Painting: Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident...I haven't had the heart to clean it..."

Impression of Hard Work: Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh: "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."

Barricades: Put a crime scene tape in front of doors where rooms are unbearably messy. .

"A clean house is the sign of a broken computer"!!!

winddysvt · 10-22-2003, 01:51 PM

well said and
'nuf said......

awesome !!

10-03-2003, 04:09 PM	#1
97whitevert well, maybe.... Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: anywhere, everywhere....NC Posts: 11,730	Housework helper Wonderful Time-Saving Household Tips... Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and damaging UV rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone. Cobwebs: Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look confused and exclaim, "What?--And spoil the mood?" Pet Hair: Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it for stuffing hand-sewn play animals for underprivileged children. Guests: If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob vigorously, fake a growl, and say, "I'd love you to see our den, but Fluffy hates new guests and the shots are SO expensive." Painting: Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident...I haven't had the heart to clean it..." Impression of Hard Work: Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh: "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..." Barricades: Put a crime scene tape in front of doors where rooms are unbearably messy. . "A clean house is the sign of a broken computer"!!! __________________ Lisa 97 white convertible #99 Born on 1/28/97 03 sonic blue coupe #323 Born on 6/4/02 86 SVO Mustang track beast- The older brother of the SVT ! 99 green BAT 95 laser red F150 06 sonic blue Escape "Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." -- Mahatma Gandhi

10-22-2003, 01:51 PM	#2
winddysvt Registered User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Windy City, Illinois Posts: 1,291	Re: Housework helper well said and 'nuf said...... awesome !! __________________ Bonny and my Wonderful hubby Tim.. Proud Momma of 2, daughter in law and son in law One horse, several birds, two dogs

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